Poem: and what about our dead time


Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

[Image Description: Young white person is wearing a black hoodie and looking at their phone, white earphones are connected to it. They have a black eye and seem unhappy.]

Poem by Avery London

and what about our dead time

oh honey you think any of our time is dead
sweet summer child
waiting isn’t a snuffing game
for starters, you’re not a fist-thing
clenched around a wrinkled fiver
that a boy-man gave to you at camp
right after you unwittingly told a lesbian you loved her
she laughed and laughed and laughed
her guffawing boinging across the marin headlands
and said I’m not really into boys
you were 10 and didn’t know she was queer till 12
that fiver sat in your money-pail before you purchased
sugar-free kiwi soda pop
cus it sated a social fetish
then you got older
13 let’s say
and met her again on the gram
y’all talked about gay things
you’re queer too btw
and caught up on happenings
hey dude whatcha think of these chords
it’s great! love the rhythm a bit sad though
what’re your thoughts on this fanart
hell yeah that’s dope af
and it was nice for awhile
until you thought she died for a year and turned up in a community home
put a real damper on conversations
now you wait for the next person to quenched
and thrown in the ashpit alongside letters
you wrote during weeping fits
those seething writhes goaded by that timestamp
of your last healthy message with her
3 pm the devil’s hour
honey lemme tell you that’s no way to live your life
death and memory-death and friendship-death are
nothing but meaningless increments
in a jumbo algorithm that doesn’t make a lick of sense
nothing truly gets snuffed
it’s all just a waiting game towards infinity
and that’s a foxy thing

Avery London is a 15-year-old junior at Sacramento Waldorf School in Fair Oaks, CA. They've lived most of their life in the foothills of Northern California. As an Okinawan Jew, cultural and religious identity informs their fiction and nonfiction work. They enjoy experimental and free-verse poetry, and always love a good flash fiction piece over tea!