Poem: unsavory & compost

[Image Description: A hand with bloodied fingernails holds out an extremely rotten peach to another, reluctant hand.]

Poem by J.M. Aveles
Art by Aiden Tsen


you accuse me of

being closed up

what you do not know is how i have

closed myself up

fastened all the straps and

belts that hold what i truly am


if i had not

if i would give you the pleasure of taking me apart

you would be given the honor

of watching

built up anger and hurt

gush out

my guts to be laid in front of you

my framework to collapse into itself

but if it is what you want

do not let yourself be stopped by me

go ahead

take the strings

go ahead

reach inside of me

untie the stitches of my outer skin

inside you will find

the bitter rough flesh of a rotten

fruit nobody would dare

to eat


this body is not mine

it feels unfamiliar

strangely distant from who i am

it takes quite a lot of work

to keep myself attached

i fear

i might

otherwise drift away from it

perhaps my greatest fear is to have left a

shell of a body to

rot as I leave - using earth as

a compost

J.M. Aveles (they/them) is a writer and poet based in south-west Germany. Their works deals heavily with the topic of gender identity and body dysmorphia.