unsavory
you accuse me of
being closed up
what you do not know is how i have
closed myself up
fastened all the straps and
belts that hold what i truly am
inside
if i had not
if i would give you the pleasure of taking me apart
you would be given the honor
of watching
built up anger and hurt
gush out
my guts to be laid in front of you
my framework to collapse into itself
but if it is what you want
do not let yourself be stopped by me
go ahead
take the strings
go ahead
reach inside of me
untie the stitches of my outer skin
inside you will find
the bitter rough flesh of a rotten
fruit nobody would dare
to eat
compost
this body is not mine
it feels unfamiliar
strangely distant from who i am
it takes quite a lot of work
to keep myself attached
i fear
i might
otherwise drift away from it
perhaps my greatest fear is to have left a
shell of a body to
rot as I leave - using earth as
a compost