[cover photo: text saying: ‘Dear my body, what happened to you?’ on the left hand side and a drawing of a girl with a tear running down her face with a dark moon behind her; by Emily Bourne.]
Art and writing by Emily Bourne.
Chronically comics is centring feelings I’ve been experiencing lately towards my chronic pain illness, Fibromyalgia, and the effects its having on my physical plus mental health.
My first article, ‘But you don’t look sick?’, was the first time I spoke openly about my condition. While it was a liberating and freeing experience for me, vulnerability is scary. So, here I am doing it again - this time, not hiding or downplaying the bad.
*These drawings were created in October/November time of 2018.
[image description: a girl is mailing a letter saying ‘return to sender: my illness, hell, fck you’ into a post box]
I am in pain every moment of everyday. Some days I’m in more pain. Some days im in less pain. But I'm always in pain. So remember that next time you want to dismiss my disability.
[image description: a girl sleeping in bed whilst a ghost is stealing energy from her]
I wake up tired, like a ghost has crawled inside my body overnight and stolen all my energy.
[image description: a drawing of a girl sat on the moon with the text: I’m not me anymore.]
It’s not just the pain in every inch of my body. It’s the disabling fatigue. The brain fog. The hopelessness. The depression. The disappointment. The anger. It’s more than ‘just a bit of muscle pain’. My personality has changed. I don’t see friends as much. I’m me, but less.
[image description: the left side of the page is empty and on the right is the text, ‘I feel like I’m drifting.]
I was sitting in the car, about to make my way to school, when the word ‘drifting’ popped into my head. That’s how this feels: like I’m drifting. My mind is barely here - mind fog is something I experience because of my fibromyalgia. My family knows what it’s like: you can tell me something one moment and it will be forgotten in the next.
[image description: a girl sat on a planet with a black background and to other planets in the the background. ‘When you fall ill you don’t expect that it’s never going to go away’ is written around her.]
I’m learning to cope. I’m learning to grieve. Life is different now.
[image description: a girl with tears streaming from her eyes with a broken heart in front of a dark moon.]
Hope feels like it’s gone. My dreams don’t feel attainable anymore.
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This article will hopefully be informative for people that don’t know much about Fibromyalgia and chronic pain conditions. Below i will leave some useful links:
Also I want to say a massive thank you to the people that support me throughout all of the bad stuff. I love you.
Finally I’ll leave you with this quote by Lady GaGa, who also has Fibromyalgia: “I get so irritated with people who don’t believe fibromyalgia is real. For me, and I think many others, it’s really a cyclone of anxiety, depression, PTSD, trauma, and panic disorder, all of which sends the nervous system into overdrive, and then you have nerve pain as a result.”
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The author, Emily: instagram / tumblr / shop