Queeries is an LGBTQ+ advice column catering to any individual across the gender and sexuality spectrum. Throughout this series, we will be answering questions or “inqueeries” that readers may have, and hopefully provide some closure and/or useful advice that can be used in everyday life. All questions are anonymous and will be answered to the very best of our abilities. Inqueeries can be sent to our Instagram’s DM @risenzine, Twitter DM: @risenzine, email address: firstname.lastname@example.org, or Tumblr page: risenmags.tumblr.com
One. “Concerning transgender matters (specifically FTM), can I stay on the pill while taking testosterone, and can I take testosterone without having clitoral growth?”
Olivia: I just want to preface this by saying I’m not very knowledgable on transgender topics, so this is as much a learning opportunity for me as it may be advice for you! That being said, you should definitely double check with a professional or conduct additional research after reading this.
Can you stay on the pill while taking testosterone? In terms of transitioning from female to male, I found this site that details why it is important to stay on the pill while you are transitioning. In a nutshell, while testosterone reduces the chances of falling pregnant, it should not be used as a substitute for the pill. If you are sexually active with a partner that produces sperm, there is still a possibility that you could become impregnated. This is because the testosterone does not completely stop egg production so your body may still be releasing eggs even if your period has stopped. So, yes, you can stay on the pill while taking testosterone and it will still be as effective.
Can you take testosterone without having clitoral growth? This site explains how, while transitioning, your clitoris will begin to grow when you become aroused. This source also details the ways in which the clit will change as you are transitioning from female to male, but I don’t believe you can stop clitoral growth while taking testosterone.
Two. “A fear of mine is that I won’t go to heaven because I’m a religious queer. Are any of the Queeries team religious and have advice for someone like myself?”
S: In my community, queerness is a topic that can be up for discussion at any moment, mostly in a positive light now, and I think this has much to do with the ever-changing views of the morality of certain actions. For thousands of years, scripture has morphed and changed, altered and been woven into modern culture, and in our day and age, that doctrine seems to be taking a next step yet again. Interpretation changes with the times, and times are changing. Nowadays, you can find countless communities worldwide who will support you no matter who you love, and more and more people join that faction each and every day. Be assured that there is a place for you, and that you matter as a human being and not what others label you as. You are loved and you are special. Always.
Jinny: I was raised a roman-catholic but lost interest in church during the beginning of middle school and eventually stopped going completely. In fact, I was thinking about adapting my maternal grandmother’s following and converting to buddhism; however, for the last few months I have joined and started attending a congregational church (which I love very much!) Not only is my church supportive of the community and hosts monthly “rainbow cafe’s,” (where teens can meet for dances/movie nights/discussions/etc), but my pastor is openly gay! So please don’t worry about not getting into heaven because you’re queer, and don’t listen to anyone that says so either - remember, God loves everyone.
Three. “I’m female and dating a girl but I haven’t figured out what my sexuality is yet. I’ve never been attracted to a boy but I could be in the future. I really want to come out to my parents but I’m worried they won’t accept me if I don’t provide them with a definitive answer about my sexuality.”
Joy: It’s okay if you find that you can't pinpoint your sexuality right away. Sexuality is something that's more fluid, and it might become clearer to you with time. Or, if you don't really like specific labels, you could use a more general term to describe yourself. Either way, it's great that you feel comfortable enough to come out to your parents! You could always explain that you definitely like girls but are more questioning when it comes to other genders. Remind them to keep an open mind and try to be patient with any questions they have. Best of luck!
Alexis: The most important thing that I’ve learned about sexuality over the years is that it’s always changing. That goes for both feelings and labels. Don’t be afraid to try to define yourself now, because you can change it later! The same goes for not labelling yourself, if that’s what you want. If you don’t feel 100% comfortable with coming out, then don’t! If you are concerned about coming out to your parents without a label, then you should explain yourself to them, like you did to us. Of course, if you did want to define yourself (at least in front your parents), then you could always use an umbrella term. I know people (and I am someone) who define themselves using either qu**r or pansexual (I know that some people consider qu**er a slur, so if you’re not comfortable with it, it’s fine). If you didn’t know, pansexuality refers to having a broad attraction to people regardless of gender or to multiple genders, and it’s a broad term that can describe a lot of different people and something that you could think about. I wish you luck with whichever option you choose!
S: There really isn’t a need to define your sexuality if you don’t want to or don’t feel ready to do so, but it’s wonderful that you feel ready to come out! Personally, I think it could be helpful to start by telling your parents that sexuality is fluid. You did a really good job explaining your situation and sexuality in your question, so maybe try something similar and tell your parents that you are dating a girl and are definitely attracted to girls, and though you haven’t been attracted to any guys, there is a possibility that this could change. Ask them to keep an open mind and support you, and I really don’t think that not having a definitive label will affect their acceptance of you. Good luck, and I hope that everything goes well!
Four. “I hate Christmas time because it means I have to be around my homophobic family. Any tips/advice so I’m not miserable the whole time?
Amelia: Firstly - I’m so sorry you have to experience that. Nobody should feel uncomfortable around people who are meant to love you, especially over the festive season and holidays. What I’d say is make sure you’re able to excuse yourself if it gets too much and retreat, whether that means going back to your room or to go on a walk or something. If you can, message people who you can vent to if your relatives say something homophobic that gets to you. And above all, remember that they’re wrong, and you are in no way invalid for being LBGT+, and that there are people out there who love and care about every aspect of you. I hope you have a nice Christmas!
The Queeries team wishes everyone a happy holidays!