Nineteen, the Precipice


This week is the start of my birthday week, before I turn 19. As the day draws closer, I fear I am nowhere close to who I used to be. So for the past year, I’ve been jotting down thoughts for 19 year old me to remember as I become a new person.

1. You realize art and practicing it isn't as exclusive as you thought. You're not alone in your passion and you don't feel so special at first. But you will meet friends and they’ll make you love art even more.

2. Your parents weren't perfect. You know they did their best, but there are some things you have to learn again.

3. You realize staying up late doesn't really treat your skin right after you turn 16.

4. They’ll tell you they’re busy with projects. You’ll say you’re studying for exams. Your schedules don’t sync until weeks later so you see your favorite people less often. But when you finally do, you’ll realize all the days you missed gave you time to amass stories to share with each other.  

5. Your thoughts, ideas, write them down. Stick them somewhere where you can see it and remind yourself to act on it.

6. Waking up early isn't that bad, there’s a whole other world when you’re up early.

7. Time feels shorter now. And the myth about life-changing experiences happening all at once isn't real. Life continues to change over time.

8. What's holding you back are constant re-evaluations. Start believing in what you want to do.

9. You actually like meeting people for the first time. Making little networks is something new altogether but you'll get there good.

10. It won't kill you to ask or haggle.

11. Listening to yourself is the best thing to ever give yourself. The next one would be a driver's license.

12. People will always have opinions with, without you, and about you.

13. People will remember how you made them feel (Maya Angelou).

14. There is nothing wrong with being too happy because some people don't know what that is even like.

15. The nuances in friendships becomes a whole spectrum in and of itself, and yeah, it is quite scary because it's not what it used to be. Accept that some people are only meant for some parts of your life and vice versa.

16. There is no perfect way of getting what you want.

17. On the verge of becoming 19 is a precipice, the gnawing feeling that you’re about to leave many things behind.

18. Everything is scary, but exciting nonetheless. Am I ready? For the job that I actually like? For the interview to my dream university? For all the road trips I’ve imagined?

19. Only the future waits for me.