1. What is your mom like? Describe her in a sound and a smell.
My mom is the laughter at the dinner table of Christmas dinner with my grandparents. She’s the sound of little feet pattering on the ground, your baby cousins running around for one of the first times. She’s the sound of the birds chirping in the morning. She’s the smell that hits you when you step into your house, the one that you can never replicate. She smells like summer mornings: fresh air, birds, and the pure sensation of being completely and totally at peace. She is the sound of dogs running with kids, the sound of wind blowing through your hair and through trees; she is the warmth from the entirety of the sun wrapped up into one perfect, beautiful, kind, amazing, incredible person.
2. What is something you love about your mom? What is something that you usually take for granted about her?
I’m blessed that she’s mother, that she’s the person I can come to when I’m in tears, who’ll hug me and wipe my tears and tell me funny stories until I can laugh through my tears. I love my mom because even though she isn’t perfect to me, she’s the kind of imperfect I could never judge, or improve, or complain about, because her imperfection makes her totally and completely perfect to me. I love her for her hugs; it feels as though the rest of the world melts away when she hugs me, and all that exists is me and her: her warmth, her love, her smell that reminds me of home so much I almost can’t breathe. I love her for her laughter; it is loud and takes up space and draws attention and it is so lovely that I feel as though her laughter is a treasure. I love her for her words; she always has the right ones, the ones that will make me laugh and set me straight and make me feel. Her words flow into me and through me, so much so that I can feel them become my spine and my heart and my blood, so that her words will always give me the bravery to make my own choices. I love her for her jokes; they’re silly but I love the way her eyes crinkle and her smile grows.
I take my mother for granted every day, in every way. I have always felt her support, love, trust, and care that I don’t know what it’s like to go without. I can’t ever imagine not having her drive me to target late at night just because I want a slushy, or make me food when not moving is more enticing than eating, or picking me up from school every day, or picking me up and telling me jokes when I’m at my worst, or telling me the truth when I feel like my world is slipping away and I’ve been blind to it the entire time. There is nothing about my mother I have ever not taken for granted, because she is like my oxygen; I’ve never known what it is like to be without her.
If there is anything I would like you to know more than anything in the world, it is that I love you more than words can describe. I’ll try, however, because you need to know how much I truly love you, how much you’ve shaped me into the amazing person I am. I am reminded of you in everything I do: in the jokes I tell, in the smiles I give, in the feeling of my chest after I have finally, finally let something go.
I can remember the way your arms feel around me when I am too weak and too sad to stand on my own, the warmth of your skin and the way you remind me of the sun, the way your entire face crinkles and lights up when you’re happy, the way your crying and shaking tears my whole world at the seams; these are the things that can push me through the day, through life, because if I remember you, I remember why I am alive and why I try, every day and every night.
The memory of you in my head is a constant reminder that the most beautiful things in life cannot be bought. It is a reminder of how strong and resilient you are, how strong and resilient your mother is, and how strong and resilient I should be, too. It is a reminder that the night can glow as bright as the day as long as I make my own sunshine.
Your presence reminds me of the sound of old music thumping from the living room to my bedroom one staircase above. You are the sound of tree branches thumping against my bedroom window. You are the tightness in my chest when my heart is racing and my hands are shaking and I want to get up and do something big. You are the feeling of the sun on my skin after a long grey day. You are the sound the DVD player makes as it whirs to life. You are the laughter I cannot keep in, late at night when I am with my friends. You are the adrenaline that comes with adventure. You are the confidence that has me smiling when I look into a mirror. You are the life in my heart, brain, and my lungs.
My entire existence is thanks to you, and what a lovely existence you have made it so far. My life has only seen sunshine and happiness, and it’s something that I can never thank you enough for. The only hardships I have known have been those of fictional characters. You’ve blessed me with such an amazing life and I truly don’t know how to thank you.
I could write a thousand paragraphs talking about how much I love you mom, but I know that you could never read a thousand paragraphs. I hope that a million “I love you”s will suffice.
I love you so incredibly much,