LOVE SUX- a Valentine's Day Guide

Art By: Caroline Mills

We’ve all been there before. Sitting at home watching some sappy love movie and crying on the inside because you realize you will be single forever.
     Listen, I totally feel that way sometimes too, but fear not children, love will come one day.    

1) The I Will Be the Cat Lady Theory
     It’s very obvious there is more than 1 compatible suitor out there for you, so don’t think you won't ever meet your “true soul mate”, or “the one”, because scientifically, there is a high possibility you will.
     You are attracted to people who share the same values, hobbies, and future plans as you. There are so many lucky guys and gals out there to give you some sugar.

2) The “But I love them!” Theory
     Love is fabulous, I understand. But please, if you have been seeing this person for only a month or so and you claim you love them, stop. Just stop.
     The first stage of love is compassion, so don’t think you’re going to spend the rest of your life with them. It doesn’t work like that. Two people end up sharing complete lust and infatuation with each other, and once they realize that they respect and care for each other after some period of time, then their love will be true.
     If someone you’re seeing is causing you problems but you want to stay, consider this: yeah they might have the greatest lips for kissing, but do they have the best lips for talking? If they say things that make you uncomfortable or upset, they don’t respect you. Therefore, according to science, it's adios!
     Keep in mind you need to take care of yourself, not just the lover you’re trying to keep around. You should always put yourself first in a relationship that’s just starting out. Don’t sacrifice anything for something that could end up breaking in a matter of days.

3) The “No one likes me” Theory
     I think this all the time. Trust me - All. The. Time. You are more beautiful than you think. We see ourselves everyday and like to pick out all the flaws we see. But other people might see those flaws as cute quirks. If you think no one is attracted to you, consider this: You are attracted to people, but those people might not think anyone is attracted to them! Most people become insecure about love because they judge themselves everyday.
     So give yourself a lil lovin’! Put on a face mask, wear that cute shirt you've always wanted to wear, go out and socialize! Give yourself some love because you are so deserving of it! People will definitely notice your confidence and find it alluring - it's science, trust me. If you love yourself first, people will love you too.

4) The “I’m going to be alone on V-Day” Theory
     Honey, no one is alone! And even if you are, so what!?!
     If you’re alone on Valentine’s Day, make it a day for yourself. Cook your favorite food, play your favorite music, watch your favorite movie, and do everything you love! Appreciate yourself as a being and keep in mind, Valentine’s Day isn’t just for the celebration of two people in love.
     If you’re not alone but still feel bummed, celebrate with those around you! Keep in mind Valentine’s Day also isn’t just for loving your significant other. Love your parents, your friends, your family and your pets! Seriously! I’m spending Valentine’s Day with my dog. I am planning on buying a dog onesie, and it shall be fabulous.
     A lot of people will be spending Valentine’s alone, so please don’t think you’re the only lone wolf out there. Hey, the lone wolves are the best wolves. They survive. They’re the true heroes.
(This sparked a sudden inspiration to write a Lone Wolf story.)

(I’m kidding.....maybe.)

In conclusion, Love is a fabulous thing. It may throw your heart to the ground and step all over it, but you will recover! You have to beat love before it beats you. Remember to love yourself and those around you, except for all the fake hunties who throw shade.

     Good Luck my little cupids!