It’s winter, or some global warming induced form of it. Okay, it might be a little warmer than last year, but you still find yourself cold all the time and hibernating in a dark little world of Netflix and blankets. Even the sun is cold, and it's dark all the time. You are literally counting down the never-ending months until spring. I feel you, I really do. In the meantime, here are some ideas for staying sharp as an icicle:
- Tie all of your scarves together to form one huge infinity scarf that can be wrapped around you like a mummy. Then pretend you’re a mummy in various public places where you won’t see anyone you know. This is not stupid. In fact, it’s very convenient and it's a great way to have fun! If you’re ever forced out of your hibernation and to say, Walgreens, make the trip fun. Instead of sulking around waiting for your mom’s prescription, do some mummariffic dance moves. Greet random strangers by speaking into your scarves with a muffled voice. Then ponder the word muffled. Just make sure you don’t knock anything over. THAT would be embarrassing.
2)Make a collage about everything your bed means to you. This again sounds extra stupid and very irrelevant but I promise it is so gratifying. Just spend an hour, or two, giving thanks to all the comfort your bed has provided you with, and all it’s future bed glory. You don’t have to make it literal, it can be symbolic of things that make you comfortable in general, like minty gum or lavender candles that are just the right amount of lavender.
|Illustration set courtesy of the wonderful Jarline|
3)Watch your favorite scary movies on mute. This can provide endless hours of hypnotic fun, as your glowing screen suddenly becomes engraved in your pupil’s reflection. Study the faces of those who are deceitful. Watch the villains cackle silently into a not so spooky twilight sky. Watch Jack Nicholson’s creepy little grin appear without words or sound effects and it will warm your heart. This actually brings me back to my “American Horror Story Days.
4) Try to unthaw the frozen almond milk from your over-frozen fridge. This is kind of passive agressive. I’m sorry. BUT WHEN ALL I WANT IS A COZY MUG OF HOT CHOCOLATE, AND THE BOX, YES THAT’S RIGHT BOX, OF ALMOND MILK IS COMING OUT IN CHUNKY PIECES, my emotions will run rampant. Sometimes hitting large things of frozenness with a towel or your hand can be really calming and anger reducing. Just don’t get frostbite.
5) Take a steamy bath and have one of those surreal coming of age moments. You might not be the bath type, but in the winter, I love nothing more than a tingly warm, cinnamon scented bath. I literally get in a bath for hours and reminisce about my un-childish childhood. I ponder of my future, and dream of alternate realities where I am not freezing my little tushie off. So, after buying $8 bath bombs from Lush or Whole Foods that you think you will never use, prove your wallet wrong. Be a bath bomb babe.