Masculinity is a Mask
Photo by Marta
By definition, toxic
masculinity “refers to the socially-constructed attitudes that describe
the masculine gender role as violent, unemotional, sexually
aggressive, and so forth.” In easy terms, toxic masculinity teaches boys that
they must be violent, unemotional, and sexually aggressive. Toxic masculinity
teaches young boys what they can and cannot do, forcing them into a societal
box that restricts them as people.
Likely the most common
effect of toxic masculinity is the erasure of emotion, especially kindness and
sadness. The amount of times I’ve heard young boys told “boys don’t cry” or
some variation thereof, is ridiculous. From a young age, boys are told not to
express their emotions. These emotions are bottled up and often spill over into
anger, violence, and aggression. Toxic masculinity creates boys who believe
they are better and stronger than girls, and feel the need to assert their
dominance, whether this is in a simple conversation or sexually. Many people
will say that rape is the fault of the victim, when in reality, it is most
often because the perpetrator needs to assert their power and dominance.
Body image issues are also
a prominent effect of toxic masculinity. Society tells boys that to be
attractive, they have to be ripped, have a six-pack, and have to be over 6 feet. Some guys do
have bodies like this, but society’s idea of a perfect body is largely
unrealistic. The awful body image many boys have because of society eventually leads to problems such as eating disorders, which is much more known in girls. However, eating
disorders in boys are much less likely to be noticed because boys are not as
willing to seek help and talk about their problems because society tells them
to be silent.
Toxic masculinity is a sick
cycle. Boys start learning poisonous values at a young age and internalize
them. They spread them to other boys; friends, siblings, classmates, and future
sons. It is more or less a disease, but as with diseases, there is a cure. This
generation needs to begin to recognize what toxic masculinity is and its
detrimental effects. If we can unlearn it, we can avoid spreading it to our
children and perpetuating this cycle.