Q&A - Being Comfortable With Confidence


 "Any tips on confidence and not getting intimidated by people? I'm not usually insecure, but when it comes to fuckboys, I've had a pretty traumatic experience with them."

                                        -Ryan, 14, Georgia

Ryan,

    Confidence is finding comfort in every aspect of yourself. You shouldn't have to find it in others. Basically, it's a long trip with yourself and your mind. You have to keep reminding your brain to look at the positives rather than the negatives. If you know someone who has a negative outlook on life, tag them along :) 

How you can help boost your confidence:

1) Write a list of everything you like about yourself. Think of literally anything positive related to who you are as a person. This list can span years, you can keep adding to it. This one is probably my favorite step of all. 

2) Every day, look into the mirror and remind yourself of all the positive attributes you inhabited. It may seem dumb, but starting off the day with positive compliments to yourself is great. Your subconscious' ability to receive things is based on how well your day has started, so it will have an effect on the rest of your day. Why not start it off with loving who you are? 

3) Surround yourself with positive people. Once again, do not try to find people to love you. It's nearly impossible to have relationships where you rely on your partner to remove all of your insecurities. Yes, it is important to have good people around you as a confidence booster, but no one can remove those negative thoughts but yourself. Make sure these people are trustworthy, understandable, and comfortable to be with. I'm not asking you to ditch your old friends, go in search for perfect platonic companions, and start new. Hopefully, you have some sort of environment in your life that affects you positively. Add to that. 


3) Follow a bunch of self-help or positive pages, read self-help books etc. It may seem a bit weird, but it's honestly a great reminder of all the points I've mentioned. One of my favorites is "The 11 Karmic Spaces". Not only does it help your inner self, but also how you look at the situations around you. 

4) Step out of your comfort zone. This may be just as hard as finding confidence, but the two go hand-in-hand. Maybe wear those cute boots that you saw on Tumblr that you felt "didn't go with your outfit". Take baby steps. Don't do anything dangerous! Have fun and enjoy yourself. 


Remember, this process can take as long as you need it to. Please do not rush! It depends on the person and some of these steps may help others more. 

Overall, I hope this was helpful in some way. 

Love yourself, so you can fully love the rest of the world.

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