Dear Diary: Brenna Kegg

Brenna Kegg
Ohio, USA

Embracing my sexuality has been, and still is, a challenge. I read so many stories now about kids 
coming out at very young ages, and while I definitely applaud and encourage it, I’m also envious. Most 
of my adolescence has been turbulent, and I think that I mainly refused to accept my queerness simply because I didn’t want to add to the chaos. I hoped that my crushes and fantasies about anyone other than males would eventually diminish, because I figured I was confused enough. Instead, bearing it alone caused even more stress. I suppose I’m also jealous that instead of experimenting and allowing myself time to interpret these feelings, I neglected them and rushed into a heterosexual relationship with my best friend (and now ex-boyfriend) Sam- and kept my secret from him for over two years.

   I came out to Sam shortly after we graduated high school this May. He was totally supportive, but I had a small breakdown shortly after. I confessed to him my fears of monosexism (scroll through the twitter account @biphobia sometime) and my struggle with internalized homophobia. I still have yet to come out to my parents, and I don’t plan to until I’ve moved out, if ever. Although my parents aren’t raging, full-force traditionalists, they certainly aren’t the most accepting either. They casually use slurs and believe in old, tired stereotypes. I can’t say for sure if they would disown me, but seeing as my father has a history of abuse, I would rather not run the risk.

   Remember, if coming out feels safe and empowering for you- awesome, go for it! If you run the risk of homelessness or have any other safety concern, please do not feel as if you have to sprint out of that closet door. Also, if you out anyone without their permission EVER, I will find you, and I will hit you.