I am starting to really understand what Charlie meant when he said he was both happy and sad. I have come, maybe just a baby step, closer to figuring out how life works, to revealing the mysteries of the universe. I mean, sure, nobody will ever 100% know the ways of life, but we can come close to figuring out who we are and what are sole purpose on this weird earth is. I’d say it’s a good start.
There will be an endless amount of good nights where you feel like you can do anything, you're just on top of the world and damn does it feel good. It will feel like an infinite drive down a city tunnel in a beautiful pickup truck, with that one amazing song. And you will look over at them and they will be breathtaking, beautiful.
But there will also be a good amount of nights you can’t seem to catch your breath for your life. When you’re curled up in a ball, fists tighter than that one time you punched a hole through the wall. You will lay there, eyes filled to the brim with an endless amount of water supply like the damn Niagara Falls, waiting for your lungs to compress. You’ll be waiting for them to tell you it’s ok you can breathe now, you’re waiting for them to let you go, but they don’t. It almost feels like the world is actually spinning and your organs are preparing to shut down. But believe me it’s not that easy, it won’t just end like that.
You’ve got to see it, the bigger picture. That there's more to life than several nights spent alone with a bottle of the oldest liquor you've got and a mean headache. That instead of the bitter taste on your lips, you will feel the joining of your mouth pressed against theirs. There’s so much more than wishing for better days, because your better days can start today. Right now. And maybe in a few days, few hours—heck even in a couple of minutes, you may feel like the world is closing down on you again, but I promise you it’s not and it won’t as long as you get back up on your feet and kick the world in its ass. Because there are so many reasons to be happy and so many reasons to be sad. Being both is okay, being one is okay and being none is o k a y. Life is strange and there’s always going to be more to learn But it’s one hell of a ride. You can either jump out now or buckle up and stay for all its bumps and detours.